Hello, I’m back

im-back

I haven’t written anything in a while. I was working on something, however the topic became painfully insignificant the moment I found out about a good friend’s passing. How ironic that my last post before that sad day had been about grief… I guess I jinxed myself.

My musings on everyday life just seemed so trivial, so inconsequential, even frivolous in comparison to big ticket items like Syria, like the bushfires, and my friend’s passing. How could I go on commenting on such stupid things when there were such big things going on in the world? When little girls are losing their mother, and good good men are losing the love of their lives?

I was a bit shy after that. I guess I just needed some time to work through the loss, and to realise that my little things are important after all. My little observations are the way I process the world, and by and large, are what I use to stay smiling. I am not the first person to lose a friend, and this will not be the last time it happens. Life goes on.

So after a break of a few months I think I’m ready to get back into it. I might even be able to write about the grief soon. Not today, but soon. Watch this space.

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Grief is a funny thing. Except it isn’t.

To date I’m pretty lucky in that I haven’t lost many close to me, however I know some pretty special people who have. Being once removed means that you do feel the sadness and loss, however for me half the tears are for my friends. My heart aches for them, I sob for them and I think about them long after the dust settles. As an outsider I’m not sure whether it’s right to reach out to let them know I’m still thinking about them in case I upset them more. For those that have love and lost, please know that there are people that would love to be there when the grief overwhelms. We’re just quietly waiting in the wings.

candidkay

You can go for days, weeks, months with no episodes. You are back to life as usual, feeling like you did the hard work to adjust to your new normal. Usually this new normal is a rearranged normal, a normal that for a time at least, is meant to cover a gaping hole in your life. A deceased mother or father. A failed marriage, perhaps.

And then, suddenly, usually in a very inconvenient and unexpected place, grief washes over you as a wave.  Almost a literal wave, because you’re knocked off guard and it’s just there. Over you, under you, holding you down. You have to remind yourself to breathe.

It sounds a bit melodramatic, but I think if you’re a person who feels deeply (and even if you’re not), chances are grief strikes in similar fashion. It’s one of the great equalizers. CEOs and factory workers may live in…

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